Most people have dealt with some sort of negativity in their lives. Early experiences start during childhood and continue throughout our adult lives.
This is a normal part of life that we all deal with. Too often, though, our thoughts become negative as well. Even more troubling is when we start talking to ourselves in a negative manner.
This negative self talk is one of the most limiting behaviours that we can deal with. So, I’ve got some tips to help you overcome that inner critic.
Number #1 – Distinguish between negative thoughts and critical thinking. We need to have a certain amount of self critique to be able to check-in with ourselves. Otherwise, we’ll never believe that what we’re doing could be something wrong. However, you need to recognise when that critiquing becomes negative self talk. Being aware of your negative self talk is white understand the source of information about what’s being said. Does the negative feedback trigger a recognition deep within you. Maybe it subconsciously reminds you of a past event or person. Sit with your discomfort and see what it’s telling you. When you can distinguish between these, it would lead to a better choice and a better situation.
Number #2 – Accept failure. If you like to beat yourself up over whenever you fail, you’re in for a steep road, my friend. You will fail and you will do it many times in your life. Embrace this as a gift rather than a burden. View failure as more of a lesson learned. Don’t tell yourself that you’re a failure. Tell yourself that you just learned what doesn’t work and what you can do better next time.
Number #3 – Repeat daily affirmations. Use affirmations that fit your current situation and use these as often as you can. Repeating these affirmations every day and then write them out on a piece of paper or use them as wallpapers on your phone. But keep them close and in front of mind. The idea here is to program your mind for positive thinking, and the more you keep at it, the more natural it will become because what’s happening is you’re growing new neural pathways in your brain. Ideally, these negative things that you tell yourself will eventually be taken over by your positive affirmations.
Number #4 – Limit your exposure to people who are negative. These people thrive on negativity and enjoy dragging other people down. If you to cannot avoid them altogether, spend as little time with them as possible. You already struggle with negative self talk, so you don’t need them adding more negativity. If you spend more time with positive people that build you up, your negative self talk will naturally reduce.
Number #5 – Learn to see the good in people. If you’re always thinking negatively of others, it makes sense that you will be more naturally thinking negatively about yourself. Being more open-minded towards others will help you be more accepting, more accepting of others as well as your own flaws.
Number #6 – Negative thinking is a choice. Even though you’ve been bombarded with it since your child, thinking negatively is something you choose to do. By contrast, positive thinking is just as much a choice as negative thinking. So, choose positive thinking. This isn’t an easy quick fix. It takes intention and it takes practice.
Number #7 – Strengthen your self belief. Negative thinking often occurs due to a lack of belief in who you are. When you strengthen your self belief and confidence, it will help you get through those times that bring you down.
So, here are some actionable steps to start doing things differently right now.
- Each month, find a new affirmation that you can repeat daily to yourself. Affirmations will help you switch your focus from negativity to positivity.
- Set up a negativity journal and write it in it whenever you think of a negative thought. Write down all your feelings and if possible, the reasons why you came to that negative conclusions, or even take notice where you may have heard it from. Then write down the reasons the negative thought ISN’T true.
- Write down three aspects of your life that you’re grateful for. It can be anything you want. It can be about your family, other people in your life. It could be about your job, your business, your state of health and well being. Whatever it is, repeat this as often as possible.
It’s an effort at first, however, over time as you repeat the new behaviour, you’re naturally rewiring your brain, your thoughts, and your words from negative to more positive self talk.
It’s really important to remember that your subconscious is listening to every word you’re saying.
So, let me ask you, how’s your self talk serving you?