This could be why…..You May Feel Disconnected From Yourself

Working with the subconscious is both fascinating as it is mysterious. Typically, during sessions with clients, conversations always go back to childhood and teenage years, and this often leads clients to state they don’t have much memory of their childhood or adolescent years. Is there something wrong with me?

Or they might even state they notice friends or family members recall memories they simply do not have and come to the realisation, I don’t have memories like they do and I don’t understand why?

This has even prompted the question, was I abused and blocked out my memory? Is this why I sometimes just check out?

Whatever comes up, there is a similar theme that there is this feeling of something is off, not quite right, I have always been different and misunderstood.

You see trauma is often associated with ‘big events or experiences’ which is never experienced the same for 2 people. The core wound of trauma in this case is the disconnection from the self to the present moment, causing the lapse of memory. This can cause anxiety, depression and a feeling of isolation and loneliness.

How Disconnection Begins in Childhood

Quite often, parents are going through their own pain and stress and therefore are disconnected from their children and not emotionally available, leaving a feeling of abandonment or even rejection within the child.

This stressful, often chaotic environment creates a coping mechanism, a subconscious program where children form a dissociation from the negative feelings, thoughts, memories or sense of identity, even though they are physically present. This dissociation is an attempt to make the circumstances more bearable.

Common Signs of Feeling Disconnected From Yourself 

• Identity confusion about who or where you are
• Problems with handling intense emotions, sudden and unexpected shifts in mood e.g feeling very sad for no reason
• Depression or anxiety problems, panic attacks, or all three
• Feeling as though the world is distorted or not real, chronic daydreaming
• Memory problems that aren’t linked to physical injury, disconnected from emotions
• Other problems, such as lack of concentration, glazed expressions, and insomnia
• Significant memory lapses, such as forgetting important personal information, mind going blank

 

It’s important to note that dissociative disorders are complex, and their symptoms can overlap with other conditions. These may include physical causes such as head trauma, brain tumours, or other cognitive issues.

They can also occur alongside mental health conditions like obsessive-compulsive disorder, panic disorder, or post-traumatic stress disorder. In some cases, the effects of certain substances, including prescription medications or recreational drugs, can mimic similar symptoms.

 “When we exist within unresolved trauma, particularly childhood wounds, there is a part of the wounded child that remains in our psyche as adults”.

How Unresolved Trauma Shapes the Subconscious

You may be familiar with these statements: “Grow up.” “Stop being a child.” “Our eight-year-old is more of an adult than you.”
When we don’t have a healthy coping mechanism, the mind protects us by shutting down. This can affect relationships, work, and daily functioning, leaving us with little to no resilience when it comes to coping.

A perceived threat in the subconscious can also block recovery from trauma. It often leads people to tolerate situations that need to change in order to create a better quality of life. The framework I use helps the subconscious heal the wounded child not by changing the past, but by changing the meaning of past events and experiences.

When the meaning shifts, the emotional attachment transforms. This allows the subconscious to refile the memory and reprogram the patterns it operates from, creating new pathways for healing and freedom.

Reconnecting Back to the Self

This form of work I do with clients leaves them surprised when they come out of a session because they realise they, in fact, do have childhood and adolescent memories. This process is the foundation of healing and recovery from dissociation, bringing the mind to feel safe while connecting back into the body.

 If you are concerned that you or a loved one may have a dissociative disorder, feeling disconnected, it is important to seek professional help to learn how to safely heal from your traumatic experience, as well as face experiences that are non-threatening but often go unaddressed due to dissociation.

Book a discovery call to chat about what you’re going through and find out what options are available to reconnect to the part of you that needs to be found to finally heal and be at peace.

 

To your healing

Lai